The Titanic Awards

I just returned from Japan, where the ATM machines marked Visa would’t give me money on my ATM Visa card. The worst part of this is that ten years ago, the ATM machines in Japan wouldn’t give me money. Surely Visa knows about the dilemma. Don’t they even care?

Another contender for worst pizza: When walking the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal in 1996, wherever I stopped all they had on the menu was dal bhat, as in rice and lentil soup. Until I arrived in Pisang. There, prominently, pizza was an option on the menu! So I ordered it.

The pizza turned out to be dal bhat as well. Apparently people had repeatedly (and jokingly, I suppose) suggested to the cook that she should add pizza to the menu. So she did. She had no idea what a pizza was, obviously.

I was slightly disappointed.

I agree with Charles de Gaulle. For country that is famed for its beautiful architecture, Charles de Gaulle airport has got to be one of the most dam ugly airports that I have ever been too. It looks like something out of a star wars movie.

In Luang Prabang there is this pizza place which produced the most disgusting pizza I ever tasted! When I took a look at the bottom of the pizze after about ten bites (I’m not a fuzzy eater), it turned out the bottom was a mix of a burned charcoal look and mold!! That night I spent on the toilet and I wasn’t feeling well until 3 days later!

Does it top your worst pizza experience?

The worst modern airport is KLIA. What were they thinking that one of the terminals (LCCT) is 40 minutes away? It’s so inconvenient that I would rather pay more and transit in Bangkok or Singapore instead, rather than wasting time in KLIA.

Besides, why spent all that money on a 21st century airport and put in 19th century toilets?

The hardware may be fine but the software of KLIA is totally lacking.

one the deff worst airports has to be Galeao Intl in Rio de Janeiro, for a city with such beauty and sexyness the airport is deff unappealing. wires falling of the cealing no ac ( at least when Ive been there). Its crazy they do that with the intl airport yet Santos Dumont the regional airport its quite what you would like to see in such a beautiful place as Rio.

Another contender for ‘Worst Drivers’ has got to be the Egyptians. Whilst on holiday in the Sinai peninsula in February, we experience some god awful driving. I’m sure our ‘Health and Safety Executive’ would love it over there !!

Japanese banks are a bit wierd when it comes to forgeign cards and their ATM’s and cash limits, best bet is to find a Japanese Post Office, they have the ATM’s that will accept foreign cards no problems!

Must agree that Saudis are the worst drivers… I live here and experience this joy every single day. They’re constantly on the cell phone, have no concept of ‘lanes,’ will pass you on the shoulder and put on their left turn blinker to turn right… It’s downright dangerous just to get to work everyday.

malaysia is the worst country, everything from infrastucture and service is inefficient and disgusting

I have to agree with you on the las no. , Japan really sucks at the ATM cards…but with my mobile phone was no problem, you need a 4 bands mobile phone, this could be one reason?

my worst pizza ever? Amman, Jordan. My sister and I were with our parents and just dying after a year overseas and 2 Jordaians returned to open a Pizza place. My dad saw it and decided to take us (it was our first ‘western’ food in a year – and for 14/15 yos…well, it was a treat!). Obviously some toppings were off limits cultrally. Finally we received our lamb/onion/cheese pizza.

Ketchup, cheddar, rare meat and raw onions. 2 American teens with stunned faces. One very laughing father – who wound up teaching the Jordanians how to cook pizza.

i’m really agree most of Saudis are the worst drivers…..

@Shaun
You have probably have not travelled too many places in the world

As far as worst American airports, I would without a doubt say MIA. Miami International can be the most chaotic, bitter, and unhelpful place for someone entering the U.S. for the first time. When my inlaws come from the Caribbean, I always try to get flights through Ft. Lauderdale or another city in order to avoid the hassle of MIA.

never been to miami or los angeles but i dont know what could be worse than jfk – has to have the worst employyes in the US – reminds my of the communist lefdtovers working train stations in poland…

worst pizza – anything outside of naples!

Yes, the Russians have the most contorted and opaque visa regime in my experience. For some real fun, upgrade from a tourist visa to a homestay visa, the process is even more labyrinthian. Just don’t forget to bring the box-of-chocolates “gift” with you to OVIR. It can mean the difference between 30 minute service and 4 hour service to register your visa. One more tip, upon entering the country at less busy ports of entry, don’t be the last one standing in line through passport control. They tend to find all sorts “problems” with your passport and visa. But don’t worry, the problems aren’t anything that money can’t fix! Or, if you’re in the mood, just wait them out. Eventually, they want to go home, and apparently there is an unwritten code that all shakedowns must be completed by the original officer on duty.

Worst airport in terms of the slowness of getting anything out of staff in a reasonable time-frame has got to be Honolulu. I say this with utmost respect for Hawaiians – from mother is from Hawaii – however it would seem that ‘customer service’ is pretty much unheard of…staff would rather chat among themselves and move at a godawful snailspace. So frustrating given that the islands are technically part of the United States. And don’t even get me started about the circa-1950s buses…

Worst Travel experience Nantong China (over Yangtzi River from Shanghai – now connected by a new bridge – mixed blessing). Taxi drivers are suicidal. Every ride is an adventure. On the bus trip in from Shanghai I was seated next to what seemed to be large tins of industrial waste. Everyone smoked and spat (even the women spat but never smoked) and at one stage a fight broke out as we approached town for reasons I was not privy to. It is the spitting capital of the world. Even in a 4 star hotel, a staff member casually spat on the lobby floor right in front of me. It is also the world centre for fireworks celebrations. Every night sounds like WW III as some business is opening somewhere accompanied by hours of furious fireworks demonstrations, each one trying to outdo the last. Sleep is impossible. Only tourist attractions are the Calico factory (ho hum) and Wolf Mountain, a modest rise on an otherwise featureless flood plain with an old Buddhist temple atop. View of Nantong and surrounding area almost always obscured by thick blanket of polllution. Most people wear face masks even when there is no current pandemic. All the old historic areas of town are systematically being knocked down and being replaced with Stalinist residential and business high rise. The Chinese believe that everything old = bad and everything new = good. The streets are filthy with rubbish as the Chinese correctly believe that sun ravaged old women in uniform and with straw brooms will eventually come along to clean up what they have deposited on the footpath.

Whilst dinning in a local restaurant (filled with smoke, there are no such thing as no smoking restaurants in China), one of the 10 or so courses I was presented with seemed a little chewy. I asked some English speaking students at a table nearby what it was and was politely told it was “Pigs Annus”.

These all resonate. Especially “Worst Connectivity”. I’ve travelled to Japan a few times and really enjoyed every trip… but you leave each time wondering how arguably one of the most “advanced” countries in the world can remain so backwards when it comes to technology. And I don’t just means their systems are disconnected, but that there is a relatively low use of technology. Drive into a petrol station, and four attendants will come out to fill the tank… many internal transport options cannot be booked online. A real paradox.

worst drivers- ukrainians. spent 3 months there, clenching all the time!

“How could the Australian centre for dope smoking, hippy free living produce something so bloody awful?”

I think you answered your own question, can’t see the toppings for the smoke

And I actually thought LAX was alright, was pretty seemless but was undergoing a few renovations so was a bit cramped. Before it got revamped a few years ago I actually would have put my top contender as Adelaide.

Another contender for worst drivers are the people on the island of Curacao (Netherlands Antilles) they are crazy as hell, some of the drivers on the island drive with children sitting in there laps in the driver seats! I freaked out when I first saw that I lived there for about 2 years and saw that more and more, and no seat belts and then you have the ones that have there front car seats in the lean back position and the drivers can just barely see over the wheel. I saw on two separate incidents two different drivers who had there seats way way back and had a child sitting on them while he had one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand was texting on his mobile and beat this one of the two incidents involved a police officer ask yourself! talk about Caribbean life!!!!

@Anonymous
dude… slow down. You write like those Curacaons (?) drive.

And yeah… Japanese ATMs. I want to spend my money in your country, make it easy for me!

Forget the Post Offices though, the 7 Elevens are everywhere and have ATMs that accept VISA and MC.

@Oliver Even though the Japanese are techno savy at the consumer/entertainment level, many businesses have not caught the tech revolution pandemic. Japan has not gone through many of the painful reforms in its Govt/Business/Banking sectors that Anglo countries have therefore what we would consider strange sights today in the West (forecourt attendants at a petrol station) are the norm in Japan. Also schools with more staff than students, Highways and bridges to nowhere built via shonky tendering processes with huge amounts of Government (essentially peoples taxation) largesse. It is partly the reason that Japan has been in economic decline for two decades. Adoption of labour saving technology is part of this larger social malaise.

Picton in New Zealand’s South Island used to be a pretty little seaside village with all the potential in the world as a true tourist Mecca, but which has instead been commandeered by a small cartel of egotistical empire-builders whose sole interest is their own wealth, not Picton’s. The town once boasted a lovely grassy foreshore and quaint main street with roll-top verandahs, but all that’s been paved in a characterless and tacky imitation representing someone’s idea of something vaguely Mediterranean.
Disembarking from the cruise ship (Picton is on cruise lines’ itineraries for extremely few calls, which is no surprise), you will not pass through a warm entry terminal with shops, refreshments and toilet facilities leading to courtesy buses; you simply get decanted on to a broad wind-swept wharf, giving you the opportunity to dodge fishing nets and pallets, forklifts and containers – not to mention local craftsmen flogging tacky jade and paua shell souvenirs – on your long cold walk to the esplanade.
The Visitor Information Centre is not one at all. It is simply a booking agency for launch charters, motels and the Cook Strait ferry. Ask at the centre what’s the population of Picton, how was Mabel Island named or the reason for the giant cross on the hillside and you’ll be giggled at to your face, then hit with a facile retort such as “Pass” or “I give up, what’s the answer?” The “information centre” in this backwater lists only one of its outside lines in the phone book (it has at least one other, plus a direct line to management) and – imagine this if you can – a phone call at 11 o’clock Thursday morning 4th January, right in the heart of the centre’s busiest period of the year, elicits the recorded message that the mail box is full and perhaps you’d like to try later! To cap it all, the centre unbelievably has no 0800 number.
So we tried the foreshore museum – and it gets worse; this little establishment has no facs or e-mail, so you must phone or call personally, but only, mind, between the hours of 10 and 4, strictly Monday to Friday.
Fancy restoring some circulation to the body during shelter from the bitter south-easterly breeze with a hot meaty pie? You won’t be impressed at being asked by a girl with a brisk plastic smile for $4.50. Expect it in Picton. The pie, incidentally, is micro-waved to attain its rubbery worst. In the same cafe we could not get a cappuccino, they’d never heard of pistachio nuts or flavouring, and, having paid an exorbitant price for a small bottle of lager I had then to wait for the waitress to finish serving the next customer so I could catch her attention to ask for a glass.
We were allocated four hours to explore the delights of this Nelson-district gem but were back on the ship after an hour-and-a-half.
The Pictons of this world may amuse, but they don’t enthuse.
(ends)

Nimbin food in all the cafes there is all horrible, as the cooks are too stoned to know or care what they’re doing.

Being a decently well travelled Indian I can probably add things in a different light here. I have found visa lines longer at London Heathrow than Delhi International airport, regularly 9 times out of 10 I have been out of Delhi airport in 20-25 min. The worst visa experience has been at Bourdeaux France almost 8 years back, I arrived from London on a Single Entry Business Visa for a conference at Ford Motors, showed all the papers (which were in French and signed by the Country Head of FORD)to Immigration Officer but I was ordered to stay back and he called 2 bulky armed police guys. Looked as if they had seen brown person for the first time in there life, with the number of travel stamps on my passport it was very clear I have no inclination to stay put in France. I was the only person in the airport stuck on immigration because the immigration officials were not sure what to do with me. They only relented when I threatened to go back and complaint at the highest level through FORD. French immigration officials are the worst from smaller cities tp even Paris. Only God can help you if you are on Air France and the connection is missed, even if the fault is with airline they treat you like they are doing charity. They have lost my travel and trade business for sure.

I haven’t been many places but I have been to Nimbin. Did you see the locals. I would not have them anywhere near food that I was going to eat. I’d rather share a half chewed mouse with a ferral cat.

@Scoop
I visited Picton last year and it was one of my highlights of my New Zealand trip. Scoop – Have you ever been to a small town before? Oh my god, no pistachio nuts or cappucinos! However did you cope?

Russians definitely have the worst and most bind-boggling bureaucracy. I lived there a year and had to bribe my way out of the country (as another commenter added, most visa problems are fixed quite easily with a little cash). However, my worst airline/flight experience involved a torturous overnight stay in Moscow, traveling between Beijing and Madrid on Aeroflot. The plane was delayed by about 5 hours, and so basically everyone missed their connecting flights. When we arrived in Moscow, it was around 8pm local time, but the whole airport was shut and we were kept (with no bathrooms, food or water, not to mention access to a phone from which to call our family and tell them why we were not showing at the airport) for about 4 hours in this limbo outside of customs, because of course no one had a Russian visa. After endless waiting, we finally were taken to a hotel (still with no information about when we would be departing) where we were essentially under house arrest. When I asked for a phone (in Russian, which I speak fluently), the hotel staff said I couldn’t use the one in the room, but failed to notify me that there was a payphone in the lobby, which I finally discovered the next day. I finally got out the following day around 4pm the following day, with a total delay of 24 hours. Don’t fly with Aeroflot.

Thank you for your explanation. There really useful information.

i also have had one of my worst travel experiences in picton, where we stayed for three months on a working holiday, we went out for dinner and i got glass in my food, i politely called the waiter over and showed him, we had already had an entree so i was not fussed about having it replaced, but i no longer wanted the meal and did not want to pay for it, my partner was still eating his meal and when we finished and went to pay they had charged us for the meal that not only i had not eaten but that had been contaminated. when we said again that we did not want to pay for it, they called to owner who turned up a bit drunk from next door at the pub which he owned and accused us of putting glass in the meal, and began to slander me when my boyfriend came to my defense it looked like it was nearly going to come to fisty cuffs, and to this day i regret paying the bill but it was better than my boyfriend getting hospitalised on holiday, i have never met such a disgusting rude arrogant man, he was the problem mistakes happen but to deal with it the way he did was totally unacceptable he should be ashamed of himself

hummingbird bistro would like to know when you visited the nimbin hotel or nimbin pub to make such a review, as pizza is not on our menu nor had it been on our menu since we took over operations. we have been providing quality modern Australian fare with a menu designed and cooked by qualified chefs. we run a seasonal menu with a commitment to quality we use free -range eggs, organic meat and locally sourced fruit and vegetables where ever possible great care is taken in all stages of our food from planning to production and a comment like that should be dated and referenced because it was most definately not may 2009 that you visited nimbin, we would really appreciate some correspondence on your behalf to validate and clarify the dates of your visit nimbin nsw

regards
angelica samut

Lol…….should have gone across the road to Trattoria’s if you wanted GOOD pizza in Nimbin…..or into Lismore where Fire in the Belly has been voted best Pizza in Australia.

Welcome than yoo older man site

http://www.lonelyplanet.com/tonywheeler/observations/the_worst_pizza/

OK, it was some years ago I experienced Nimbin’s awful pizza and the Hummingbird Bistro, which looks after food in Nimbin’s pub today, has absolutely no connection with the bad pizza provider of yesteryear. Pizza doesn’t even feature on their menu. But I double checked my judgement with Maureen, who’d never seen my Titanic Awards contribution. ‘Where was the worst pizza you’ve ever had?’ I asked. ‘Easy,’ she replied, ‘Nimbin.’

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Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage.
I’m afraid it did.