The Titanic Awards » editor

A.J. Jacobs’s World Worsts

Doug Lansky — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 07:40:14 +0000

Name A.J. Jacobs (pictured here having his “worst night of sleep” at sleep study he tried last week)
Who? A.J. Jacobs is the Editor-at-Large at Esquire magazine, and the bestselling author of The Year of Living Biblically, The Know-It-All and The Guinea Pig Diaries.
Age 42

Titanic Nominations
1. Most Overrated Tourist Attraction The Luxembourg Gardens in Paris. Needs more flowers, less statues and gravel.
2. Worst In-Flight Made-Up Rule A mean flight attendant decided not to let me pass. “It’s a galley, not an alley!”
3. Worst Hotel Wake-Up Service A B&B in Martha’s Vineyard where the owner’s Labrador barged into my room at 5 am and started barking maniacally.
4. Worst Train Ride The Long Island Railroad in New York, where I was forced to sit on the floor with my family, in the stream of refuse coming from the broken toilets.
5. Worst Souvenir The Elvis “Love Me Tender” Milk Bath at Graceland (that I purchased).

Agree or disagree? Take the 2010 survey >>

Eddy Patricelli’s World Worsts

Doug Lansky — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 21:14:55 +0000

Name Eddy Patricelli
Who? Editor-in-Chief of ISLANDS Magazine. More at http://blog.islands.com (including a free issue).
Age 36
Countries Visited 18

Titanic Nominations
1. Worst Island Ferry Puerto Juarez to Isla Mujeres, Mexico. A passenger
spotted a manta ray off one side. Everyone crowded to that side to see it,
flipping the 30-person ferry. The first boat on the scene was another ferry
from the same outfit. It flipped as its passengers crowded the rail to see
us. All over a fish.
2. Worst Toilet A moving port-o-pot perched on a flatbed truck during
Trinidad’s all-day Carnival celebration. The truck’s movement required
sitting, but doing so was risky. The port-o-pot’s contents swished and
splattered beneath, and swelled closer with each visit. The thought of that
syrupy sloshing sound still makes my cheeks pucker.
3. Worst Flight Atlanta to Maui, Delta Airlines. Connecting flight into
Atlanta was delayed on arrival, so I missed breakfast. Boarded my Maui-bound
flight starving, and ordered two box meals after takeoff. Flight attendant
handed ‘em over, but at that time Delta only took cash — no credit cards.
Attendant wouldn’t budge and swiped the boxes back. Faced with a nine-hour
fasting, I stood up and pleaded with her. Three flight attendants rushed me,
threatening to turn the plane around, contact federal authorities and so
on. Not a soul spoke to me the rest of the flight. Using the bathroom
required escorts. I just wanted a box lunch.
4.Worst Hotel Stay Le Meridien, Bora Bora, surrounded by honeymooners
“honeymooning” in over-water huts nearby. I was alone. Never go to Bora Bora
alone.
5. Worst Cliché Travel Writing Line About Beach/Water Any sentence with
mentions of powder sand, slices of heaven, and turquoise, indigo, sapphire,
ultramarine, glimmering, scintillating water.

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Robert Reid’s World Worsts

Doug Lansky — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 07:41:49 +0000

Name Robert Reid
Who? The US spokesperson and travel editor for Lonely Planet. He has written over two dozen Lonely Planet guidebooks (including Trans-Siberian Railway, Romania, New York City and Myanmar). Raised an Okie, he now lives in Brooklyn, New York. He blogs at reidontravel.com and lonelyplanet.com.
Age 41
Countries Visited 30+

Titanic Nominations
1. Worst Roads Romania is part of the EU but don’t tell that to the narrow roads and their potholes the size of Buicks. After a week’s worth of driving across Transylvania, I felt lucky getting out of there without a scrape — or a collision with a racing Dacia in the wrong lane on a blind curve. The best part though is watching the occasional horse cart, sweeping triumphantly off ancient paths on a hillside, across the highways, and up over other hills and out of sight. They have no use for the roads.
2. Worst Airport Link No place in the world rips off airport commuters more than the sweet NJ Transit to Newark’s airport — that is, IF you’re coming in from New York City. It’s a plain ol’ commuter train (not much place for your bags) but charges $15 per person for the two-stop, 24-minute trip. That MIGHT be okay if it weren’t triple the cost if you get off a stop before or after the airport. Meanwhile, NJ Transit’s hour-long ride to the airport from Trenton, clear across Jersey? Yeah, it’s $9.25. Probably just payback for New York stealing Liberty Island.
3. Worst Executed Tourist Scam In Red Square, one guy dropped a wad of dollars at my feet and walked on ‘unaware.’ Another appeared, stooping to pick up the money, then — thoughtfully — turned to me and offered to share the booty. I turned and hurried off. Now, the kindness of Russians — in private quarters or on trains — can shame the most charitable people of the world. But in public places? Offering a few thousands dollars because I happened to be nearby? No way.
4. Worst Sports Fans A friend and I were impersonating Manitobans at a Canadian Football League game in Baltimore between the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and Baltimore CFLers (seriously, that was their name). Before we could get to our seats, Baltimore was up 14-0 and we were pelted with handfuls of ice and profane abuse from dads and young children (’look at the scoreboard assholes!’).
5. Worst Hotel I arrived at 3am on Christmas Eve to Meiktila, Myanmar, and all the private hotels were full. I didn’t want to stay at a military one, so I lingered at a lakeside guesthouse run by a family. After a minute or two of foot shuffling, the staff told me to wait and cleared a tiny broom closet, put in a single bed with a thin mattress and sprayed and sprayed and sprayed for bugs. ‘Five dollars. No free breakfast though.’ I had to keep the door open all night for the fumes. It was ugly and cramped: a windowless box, with spiders immune to bug spray. But I was happy to have it.