Benji Lanyado’s World Worsts
Name Benji Lanyado
Who? A travel journalist for (mostly) The Guardian and (sometimes) the New York Times. He blogs at benjilanyado.com and tweets @benjilanyado He has double-jointed shoulders and isn’t afraid to use them.
1. Worst Bus Ride The journey from Sarajevo to Belgrade is a very powerful one, for the obvious political reasons. My belly found it a little too much to take, and I was convulsed with explosive diarrhoea for the final hour. Belgrade bus station experienced the wrath of my innards.
2. Worst Souvenir There is no such thing as a bad souvenir. The worse they are, the better they are. I pride myself on picking up cheap tack. My favourite souvenir was a fridge magnet with a yellow mermaid on
it, waving a starry flag emblazoned with “Montevideo” and a flock of flamingos. It glows in the dark.
3. Worst City for Driving Cairo. The Egyptians abandoned peripheral vision many eons ago. The Pharaohs, I believe, deemed it unnecessary.
4. Worst Train Ride On a night train from Krakow from Wroclaw, I was drugged and robbed. Apparently it’s a semi-regular occurrence on night trains in Poland. The robbers slip a canister of gas into your carriage, knock you out, and rob you. The bar stewards. Luckily it was back in the mid-digital age (2004) so they only made off with a shitty camera and a Discman.
5. Worst Tourist Information Office: “Good afternoon sir, and welcome to Hoi An [Vietnam]. I have information for hotels, beach location and prostitute sex. And also car hire.”
6. Worst Reaction to my Writing I once received a charming missive from Shanghai, in which the mailer requested that I would be “reincarnated as a flea on the anus of a dog”. Bless him.
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